Thursday, 10 October 2013

Of Bad Boys and Bad Bit#hes

Of Bad Boys and Bad Bit#hes

Disclaimer: not all girls are this shallow. Some girls just know the value of their worth and act accordingly. And the self respecting ones…ana Miss Independent, they’re not talked about here.

I know I am guilty of having used the phrase “good guys finish last” as much as girls are equally guilty of using the phrase “all men are dogs”. I love how we all see the faults in the other sex, express our anger towards them and blame them for the unhappiness we’ve experienced. You find yourself blaming that fiiiiine girl in town ‘cause some other girl broke your heart. I think it is fair to say that as humans it is rather in our nature to bring this upon ourselves. I can already hear the mumblings (“how am I to blame for the fact that he was a dog?”)

Let us be fair. Not all men are dogs and though the fact that good guys finish last may be true…it is not the women who are to blame. The biggest reason why all these things happen is because us humans love tempting God and hoping for miracles where there shouldn’t be any. Good girls want to tame sharks, and good guys love playing “Captain Save-a-hoe.”

I think there’s something wrong with good guys. But first we have to confirm that a great number (not all) of you good guys were at some point, erm how do I say this nicely, socially awkward. Forced to watch the cool kids from the sidelines, you were substitutes in the game of life. This usually gives rise to a situation with symptoms similar to those experienced by older men who get mid – life crisis (though I don’t believe in that). They want to make up for the time they feel they lost while preparing for a better life, and feel they owe it to society to prove that they shouldn’t be on the benches anymore. They feel that they should be on the forefront of living, with the now less educated cool kids. For them, what better way to show this than by getting that one babe even all the cool kats want. And that, my dear friends…is a bad bit#ch!! That girl who isn’t afraid to rock the loudest (not vulgar!!) hairdo, express herself through her clothes, words and actions. This is all very well for our geeky good guys, playing sir Lancelot to Nicki Minaj but there are a coupla things that will destroy the good guy. Firstly, the value system that most good guys is different because of the differing social experiences. If our good guy were to somehow by some miracle come accross the accurate figure (impossible as this is) of the Bad Bit#hes ‘mileage, we would have a stroke, followed by a coma, on our hands. Secondly, Bad bitches have the attention span of a down syndrome 3 year old. So after a while, a really short while, she will get tired of that boring, traditional love you were taught by the Disney classics you gay fuck! And that’s how you, Mr. good guy get your fickle heart broken.

I know all the geeks out there secretly hoped that the rise to fame for geeks like the Facebook boys and a couple of other geeks would open doors for geeks worldwide. Well it didn’t! The Bad Boy, that suave, cool guy who can spontaneously churn out charm attached to the worst advice on the with the conviction of a Pentecostal pastor; that’s what the girls want. Yes, girls seem to love that guy who doesn’t fall to her feet and worship the ground she walks like the idiotic good guy. They want the bad boy, even though it does not look like it can move any further******. Good girls sit there thinking that a bad boy will add a little fire to their lives. Be that hot peri peri added to the Nando’s chicken that is their life. They too, like the good guy, are hung up on the fiery life they missed out on while they were busy swotting through that accounting degree for four years without a social life at all. It is true though, bad boys present spontaneity that good guys don’t possess, even when the dream of themselves as cool. Bad boys! Bad boys! Bad boys! They do have that fire, but it’s like trying to fry an egg with a flamethrower and that’s how they get burnt. Good girls, third degree burns all over your heart, and in the extreme cases all over your %^*&$# as well.

The bad bitches have gotten smarter though. They are aware of the existence boring engineers who had no social life apart from the very occasional beer in a bar full of guys and very little eye candy during the five year degree 439km away from home. No one wants acceptance into the social scene more than this group of individuals. At this level, he has a good job at a good company with a good salary and can buy a car in his first year of work. It’s good to note that he can also afford your $100 weave, and if that isn’t security for some girls, what is? He still has his somewhat strong church background and makes time every Sunday. So it is on one of those Sundays that he will meet the perfect potential wife, a girl so pretty he knows getting her means he has defied the odds; focused on nothing but school, had no life and was rewarded. He can now have a good job and a good looking girlfriend. What he might not know is that he has met what me and my friends like to call a “Retired Brigadier General”, a bad bit#ch gone good. But who am I to judge right?

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Lets put the Ex in the Rear view mirror

Am I the only one seeing the Ex in the window..that ought to haunt you

What is it with girls and their constant battle to keep exes as a part of their lives... I have observed this from most of my friends who seem to have exes hovering like mosquitoes in the zimbabwean for sisters, I seem to have intelligent sisters who will have none of that.

the Ex alert!1usually reason enough to flee
Personally, whether out of insecurity(or whatever other bad word you will find to try to make me seem weak), I am one of those guys who does not like having a girlfriend or potential at that who has an Ex as part of luggage!  the mere nature of the female is already luggage enough for me. and then you will hear the ladies say "oh, but you are such a jealous boyfriend" and "he is so leachy". if my Exes was on my wall whenever they could, in my phone, blowin' my whatsapp( and anything else they could) would your complaint about such make you a jealous nagging girlfriend? or does it show that we both feel the same, but its only a problem when expressed by me...

what most guys want girls to do with their Exes
Why don't I like exes...causes I have been an ex, girls may think guys don't know the effect we have on them but we do know. I know the exact number of phone calls it'll take to get you back.. I know your friend or your cousin so i know what your  current boyfriend is doing wrong, so I know how to look better than him! I don't have to do everything right...just the stuff he is getting wrong.. and that will work wonders. the ex is the perfect tool for blocking progress...i don't know too many relationships that have the ability to go forward with an ex lurking in the background! they haunt relationships the same way worldly spirits haunt the living and prevent progress in their lives.

burn you bloody Ex!! BURN!!!
in this paragraph i will speak for myself! when a girl becomes my ex, i Axe them!! i get them out of my life totally and detox!! this is when you all start whining and making excuses..i can hear you already!! "but how do i just get rid of someone who was part of my life for (whatever number of) years/months/days/minutes?" Look, they are out of your life for a reason, so how about they just stay like that!! we all have relationships that either didn't end properly or ended prematurely for us...and this are the Exes we love to keep around but this are also the most dangerous Exes!! I learnt that lesson when i was 17( yes I've always been a little too deep for my age! read Diary of a geek for the reason). when you lose a good relationship because you were still hung up on someone who truthfully wasn't worth your time..i have been schooled too many times..
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now, you tell this to some girls and they seem to honestly think that its not true...i just think girls love playing dumb. The question (from me) becomes, so you know your ex wants you back but you continuously reply his messages, message him first sometimes, take his calls... what's that, some form of back up for when I mess up! I don't believe in relationships with backups... I don't believe in half relationships.. I believe if you're not totally happy, if I CANT make you totally happy...then why are we wasting our time here?

maybe because I'm old school like that and love whole-heartedly...(what am I beginning to sound like Sir Lancelot?).. but I like the whole undivided attention thing you me..i love you each fucking crack-head friends talking crap sorta thing. but that sh*t is hard to find... to find someone who will love you wholly while you do the same..finding love that is something everyone should be glad to get...

i think i have found that I'm set..if you're reading this and thinking your relationship ain't there's another lecture for you

*PS. I'm really sorry but i have this terrible habit of editing posts after I've posted them.. I should stop right?? I will

diary of a geek

steve urkel...this was kinda me..just remove the other two eyes
so..i was your typical primary school geek, yes that's true! GEEK!! the only thing missing was the spectacles but i was that. first place in class except when i occassionally lost it to my best friend (yes my best friend was a geek too). the kinda kid that made his mother proud by thinking about school and nothing else!

My best-friend and I's idea of conversation was "what happened on last nights Toyota world of wildlife?" and "did you know a cockroach can live for up to six months without its head?". a competition between who's ghead could hold the most (now either useless or redundant) facts!

i was that kid that in grade 5 carried a satchel heavier than most o'level students i know. naturally this meant i could only be destined for academic greatness. I was the guy girls only talked to when thety wanted help with their math or or if the wanted help generally. Weirdly though, most of them started writing to me in high school telling me how cute and shy i was back then!!and how they had crushes on me back in elementary school...WHY YOU NO SAY ANYTHING!!!!

anyway, i was that geek. i read. a lot!( its funny when i look back now). i had no interest for anything other than  books, video games, cartoons and your occasional movie. these days i can hardly read anything and i swear i have more time on my hands; which begs the question: How did i do it back then??

what most pple didnt know is that i slightly changed my choice of literature when i got to 7th grade. i figured there must be something wrong with me if i couldn't get a girl at my age, except for the rare random grade 7 valentine's request from the hottest chic in class and me standing there not knowing what to say!! when i was twelve, i started reading Mills & Boon, Silhouette, and SVU in an attempt to become the perfect be able to say the right thing to any girl... i went on a QUEST TO BE THE PERFECT GUY!

i wish i had an older brother( i'm a first born)! why? you may be asking now...because i would've discussed it with him and he would have slapped me silly and told me that GOOD GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST!!

That would've been the best advice that would have saved me from the years i spent tryna be the perfect guy who would say the perfect thing and have the perfect girl melt into his arms...

oh what a futile battle that turned out to be..because good guys finish last...
 one good thing came of it...the sex scenes...they set me up for the life a real teenager..pervert to  the bone..

Its funny, I spent so much time tryna be a good guy when all girls really want is a bad guy..i think girls think they are superwomen or something...because they all think they can change him...if they love him right!! yeah right!! He'll only change if he wants...and only then!

this is the most meaningless post i have ever posted...i love it

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

ITS WOMENS' FAULT: why men and women cant be friends


I know people say guys..or men to be more specific cannot be friends with women. i will not insult you by trying to deny that. what i have also realised though is that us men have a high reasoning capacity and never do anything just for the sake of doing it. yes ladies don't look at your monitor funny, its true!
i, have managed to find the root cause, when it comes to why men do not stay friends with women...and (men, you can thank me later) it is not necessarily the guys' fault! actually it is not the guys'  fault at all!

the truth is it is the female species that has a problem..and a big one at that!! Sadly for me, they obviously wanna hide behind the whole, "we didn't stay friends cause i am so pretty and it was too much for him to handle"...oh please!! stop lying to yourself.

the main reason is because the female species is INCAPABLE of just being friends with us guys. they cant do it!! No matter how hard they try, if they even try!! How many guys have met girls who always say "i don't have too many female friends i prefer guys cause they don't gossip"?? (hmm, i see a lot of hands in the air). the real reason is because girls, women..whatever.. prefer guys is beacause we are more tolerant. Women are incapable of simple friendship! Girls suck at keeping friends; they truly do!! I guess maybe its just not part of their software i guess!!

Ok, now honestly how many of you have been out with your dad, uncle, brother, hell...even your granddad and he introduces you to a friend he went to elementary school with and they became best friends, watched each other grow,marry and father families!!! i don't know about you but i get that all the time. all my male relatives have these wonderful friendships spanning lifetimes...but our mothers, aunts, grans, sisters...not even!!! The women just have issues!!

And do you want to know why women are incapable of friendship?? its because women have come to expect something out of every relationship( I'm talking any typa relationship but in this case that of friendship).
Here are some of their expectations:

  • she expects you to give her financial help when she's broke (bugger the fact that you wanna use that cash for something)...or you are not a real friend! ( oh.. and by the way her idea of broke is  when she cant afoord to buy a burger on the tea break, a burger for lunch, and a burger on her way home...even though you are having maputi and a freezit!!)
  • she expects you to call her and reply her texts and be funny and make her laugh(just because her boyfriend is outta town and she is bored..or beacuse he just aint funny like you!) or you are a bad friend!!
  • she expects you to drop whatever you are doing and make a trip into town to see her (just because she went into town and her boyfriend said he'll be late and will arrive 2hours later and she is alone) or you are a bad friend.
  • she expects you to always be the one who calls(meaning your airtime is shared between her and your girlfriend while hers is reserved for her boyfriend ONLY) or you are a bad friend
  • you should always be full of complements for her (even when her outfit is ghastly and you would rather ride on the honesty side of things) or you are a bad friend!
  • you should NEVER tell her that her boyfriend is a dick (no matter what you know, or how much he hurts her, or how much she makes YOU do his duties) or you are a bad friend!!
  • send her airtime when she asks (just because she said its to talk to you does not mean she means it) or you are a bad friend! 
you see ALL THAT!?!?! nah, SERIOUSLY!!!do you see all of this?? THAT is the job description to any male who decides they want to be friends with a female!
now is it me or does that look like you are being forced to be a boyfriend who does not get benefits!! unfortunately the bottom line means everything to me and whenever such breed of female tries to be friend of mine...well...i cut my losses. 

guy friendships; we do a lot for each other but is never expected..we are just there for each other like that!

so is it finally clear to you girls why that guy "you thought was your friend" now wants more?? can you see the reasoning that should be common sense:


so if women can learn to actually BE friends with guys and people instead of always tryna leech and sponge on every male friend you have, then they will see that its not really guys who are the problem! of course there are some bad apples, but they are negligible.

so..ladies..just before you go and hit him with the cliché: "i thought you were my friend", just look at everything you have made him do(m talking the stuff not justified by friendship)...and I'm sure you will see why he is doing that!! 

just my view, but you know its true!!


Wednesday, 22 February 2012

if you have lost someone....

*okay i think there's a bit in the middle where i talked a tad bit too much..if it gets boring do it novel style and skip to the end*

i got so mad when i was walking to work this morning. i looked at the world took in the sounds the birds the cars and the carbon-stained air...all showing that it was a normal day. but its NOT a normal day today. it felt so unfair that the rest of Harare should keep on moving keep going on with their lives when my sister was no longer with us!! Damn them!!! do them for not feeling the void that has been left in the world. Ok, so maybe this void is just in my world.

I was still awake at 1am this morning, watching a series on my mom's laptop.. I wasn't sleepy too. then i heard it, my mom's phone ring! at one o'clock!!who would call at one o'clock in the morning!? but I kinda knew. my heart refused to believe it. i forced myself to believe this 1am call would be some time zone confused relative somewhere overseas. if there's one thing the people in my family are scared of its these dead of the night..or morning phone calls. lets face it, no one's gonna call you at 1am to say "hey guess what I won the lotto!"
we know that whenever is one of those, its bad news.

amazingly, still i hoped,and silently prayed that it would be good news for the first time. I wont pretend we had one of those talk together every other day relationships, if anything it was every other month. but i loved her, in the way a younger brother loves his older sister. and now she is gone! my niece has now lost both her parents and its a really painful thing to imagine upon anyone. i have seen adults breakdown upon the loss of their parents and fail to get out of depression for months...and now...a little girl has no mother. why is the world such an unfair place.

we all have endured the pain of losing a loved one. but one thing i am sure, is that losing them was not the hardest bit. of course losing a close friend/relation always switches on the no one-is-immortal light bulb but that's not the most painful thing. of course memories flood you mind, a kaleidoscope of colour...okay sometimes black and white...and sometimes a gloomy grey, but still...that is NOT  the hardest bit. yes there have been days when things were hard and you wanted to call out their name coz they are really the only person that ever stood up for you..and yes these times were hard, but it wasn't the hardest time.

crying yourself to sleep was also not the hardest thing you ever had to do. even though you secretly thought if you cried hard enough, God would bring them back. for countless days you dreamt of them and did not want to wake up coz it was easier being in the dream with them again.

numerous times you tried to remember their scent, their smile and even the things they did that used to piss you off. now thinking that you would take even that as opposed to living without them. yes now you are forced to accept a lot of things; that you were never really close to some people and your relationship relied on someone else and now that someone is gone. this is all very sad but its NOT what is hardest.

too many times the people we lose were a sign of hope. the last proof to you that there are still good people living on earth. too many times there are things we wish we had said, we are filled with regrets. they drown us and choke us...what we should have told them, what we shouldn't have told them...but our regrets are NOT what hits us the hardest!!

okay let me tell you what the hardest thing is.
the hardest thing is moving on with your life!! not the actual moving on, that comes naturally!! its the mental punishment we put ourselves through because life is happening and we are moving on...
..its not guilt as such, its more like you feel like you have betrayed that person. you feel like after all they did for you in life, you repay them by forgetting about them and going on with your life.

Naturally, at first you will pray for them everyday, that they got to heaven or whatever it is you believe in (its virgins for some) but as time goes becomes once a week then once a month then rarely.

It is at that point that we plunge ourselves into depression because we feel that our loved ones will see that we truly miss them. we give up our lives, our happiness because we feel we owe it to them. But is that what they would have liked for us. did they want us to die together because surely wallowing in such sorrow is not to far from death.

i will admit its a difficult thing to do though..coz with every smile, you think of their life ended prematurely. but to you even if they died at 120 years would've been prematurely. i am not saying forget those that we love who have left us.. I'm saying live your life (don't worry I'm not gonna go cliché and say "live your life for them")... live your life for the other people you still least you are not alone there are others who are. I'm sorry i used that line wen i was a kid i always hated it when i was told to "appreciate what i have coz others don't have it" that's what I'm sharing with you

we know what the hard thing are we gonna live through it... I've loved and lost like everyone else.. death did not pity me coz i have a blog...i continue to love those people and i continue to live...

have a great day everyone!


Monday, 23 January 2012

the rising star of young Nash(interveiw date 4 Nov 2011)


My interview with young Nash was at rehab studios in the Harare CBD; a cosy set up where the graffittied walls and the posters are sure to make anyone feel like an artiste and any artiste feel at home. I was met by a voiceless Young Nash and, seeing the questioning look on my face, told me he had lost his voice at a photo shoot that week.
He is quite an intriguing character, smiling all the while and making jokes about his “new voice”, even saying he would take advantage and make a record or two while he still had it.  Young Nash seems to have a never-dimming radiance about him that spills off to all those around him.
Fast – making a name for himself in both the public and the hip hop circles, Nash has been acknowledged for having a style of his own. The energetic raps he gives with his unbroken – sounding voice have an ability to put energy in even the dullest sounding songs. He has an unmistakable voice that is usually preceded by his trademark “maihwe”. We were obviously curious about were his trademark came from and he told us how one of the first features he had at Rehab was on a track called “maihwe” where he did the chorus.
Not only is he a rapper, but young Nash is also earning his stripes as a producer and quite a good one at that. He has been learning under the watchful eye of Anonzi Xndr, who is the main producer at rehab studios. The young protégé is oozing with talent and anyone with a good eye (such as myself) can see that he is going places. In fact I got to see him in action as he was recording an artiste during our interview; communicating in sign language since he was voiceless. Honestly, it was all really funny but I guess the job had to be done

Currently writing his A’ level examinations, he has a great passion for music but he hasn’t let that deter him from his school path. There were even history textbooks lying all over the work area and one gets the sense that Rehab is not just work for young Nash, it’s also home. He says when school is done every day; Rehab is always his first port of call. His intelligence and academic sharpness is evident through conversation, you can tell he’s a very sharp boy and his focus can be seen in his enthusiasm when he speaks. I know it’s interesting to know how he handles the two, (school and music) but he seems to be balancing it pretty well as he is releasing his album/mixtape on the first of December this year.
His single, Me & you, released off the upcoming album/mix tape created a buzz on the underground music scene. As soon as I mentioned the single, he was quick to look up at the poster he had made for the single, which was put up on the wall in front of him.  In his words, he aims to create the same buzz with his album/mix tape. The offering is going to be titled Perephanilia (yeah I had the same look you have on your face right now!!!). I know you want to know what that means, I did too (the rappers are getting smart on us). Apparently it means tool and he says the album/mix tape is going to be his tool to make it to the top and to fame; now that is title and a half.
Perephanilia, according to young Nash will have 21 tracks and from those, only you & me and let’s get it on (featuring Xndr) have been released. Young Nash says he is inspired by the likes of G – unit, Da Les, and Kapital K; it will be nice to see how the influence of such different artistes will show on the album/mix tape. He has worked with a large number of artistes on this project and it is obvious that the result will be explosive. He worked with Tatea da MC, Anonzi Xndr, Absurd, Simba, Crimson Blue, Ishy X, MC Cut, Teddy, Bmac, G.O.R.E, Negye & Archie from the group Ludicrous Rapertoire, Rasta Pfacha, Jeneral Tatata & Micha of ammunition. Young Nash has his favorite tracks which he wants people to look out for and these are excuse me Ft Xndr (produced by Anonzi Xndr), All around the world Ft G.O.R.E & Micha (produced by Simba Tagz) Legend Ft.ATL & Absurd (produced by Kamakazekosh).
If you didn’t know this boy is before now, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? This is the kind of talent that Zimbabwe needs to up its rap game and it will be nice to see how he does on the market after the release of the album/mix tape. People should definitely watch this space…because the star of young Nash is rising…and fast!!

If you could be invisible for a day…. *thinks* haa, I’d probably sleep
If you won a million bucks… I’d buy shares in Coca Cola (I told you this boy is smart)
Who would you like to work with? Everybody
What don’t you leave home without? Mu phone and my mp3 player
What are you listening to the most these days? The new Natasha Bedingfield and Kelly Rowland albums [awkward silence]
·         He started out in a group called Young Arts
·         He is an absolute twitter bug (he didn’t put his phone down throughout the interview!! )
young Nash
@youngnashylee on twitter


Thursday, 19 January 2012

the grass while elephants fight

all my life..with all my friends,i have somehow managed to always be the nigger in the middle. damn shoot me for bein the guy who listens!!
but honestly, too many times i have two friends who decide they don't want to talk to each other and i'm expected to pick?!! like honestly..that is so unfair. some people say i am a good listener and i'm thinkin of changiong that coz now i'm screwed.
you see when two of your mutual friends are not talkin, they really want to talk to each other but noone wants to give in first and for them the best way to do that is to find someone else to talk to. thats where my suffering starts; all of a sudden they realixe the one good listener they know is me and i am called for duty.
sad bit is, when one knows you are with the other he feels its a betrayal and now you have to make time for the both of them. this was so much easier when u could talk to them both at once!!

life is full of such selfish people who do not realise the magnitude of the repercussions of their actions...and do not care who will serve as the grass while the elephants fight. its too draining.

so as you wake up everyday, look at how your actions affect others..U DO NOT LIVE IN A VACCUM!
and then the two friends are going to patch things up but are scarred for a while..the life of me

Friday, 13 January 2012

single parenthood versus single childhood


yes its true, single parenthood is hard. how do i know? because i have grown up thanks to the care of a single parent and i have seen her suffer. there have been good times and bad; mostly good though. many memories have been made out of those hard times. appreciation for life and what others deem to be luxuries has been gained from these hard times. i have seen her cry, and she is a strong woman, but i have seen her break down as would be normal under said circumstances.she has kept it together, she has kept us together! my mother really is an incredible woman..almost superhuman.

not to take anything away from her and the sacrifices she has had to make; this is not what i am writing about. i'm going to talk about the side rarely talked about. how hard single parenthood is on the children themselves.
its no wonder that they grow to be strong individuals..most of them! a great number also becomes drunks, thieves and conmen like kids out of proper families. don't get me wrong; the only reason why i used proper is because that's what you would do..but i did come from a proper family.

we cannot hide from the fact that single parenthood is harder on the child. OK, in kindergarten when everyone else is talking about their daddies and mommies is probably the first time you realized that there was something wrong at home...when they talk about their daddies and compare stories exaggerating their fathers'abilities what are you to talk about? when they tell u that their mommy slapped them and they told their daddy what do you say? hell, your mama slapped you and that was the end of the discussion.

okay..our friend grew and went to grade one and had to write his first composition: "MY DADDY"...excuse me but can anyone tell me what our young hero is o write about? so yes, he made up a daddy in his head and wrote about that!! and for the next three years he hoped one evening THAT daddy would walk through the door from work. for years he dreamt about that daddy...wrote about him again in grade 4 with a little more detail(and obviously greater writing skills). but any of you imagine how hard it must have been; to be like this at so young an age.

OK we'll skip a couple of traumatizing years and go to the years he became an A class student..having his mother by his side at all those prize - givings was wonderful but you see when u grow up in a single parenthood the thought is that if you had a father he would be perfect and he would be there. of course we all know know about the father's who either get too drunk or too busy to attend childrens functions but no...our friend thought if he had a father, he would be looking on proudly as he went to get his prize and would be waiting for him ion the other side of the in hand!!! thank God..i had my mother who did it well enough for two parents..but the thoughts are always there in your head..the what ifs.

then there was the grade seven year...oh the grade seven year. liking girls and not having anyone to give you pointers or advice..or pass down some great family macking secret!(NOT THAT I NEED THAT ANYMORE) that was kinda hard but i guess that's goes on. this was the year most of my friends got closer to their dads, talked more, did more together; i am not gonna lie and say that did not kinda did.

high school...i don't know whether school got harder or if i jus got tiered but i just didn't have time to give a fuck!!! it didn't matter to me anymore whether he would come or not..whether he would talk to me or not..whether he would even try to find me...maybe i just grew up!

DO YOU THINK I NEED THERAPY??if your answer was yes...well...

Go suck a &*%#